Alice Down the Well
by Starer of the Moon
Summary: Alice pays her third visit to Wonderland...this time with her kitten, Dinah.
1. Part 1: Alice Down the Well

Alice Down the Well – Part 1

_**Chapter 1 – Alice Down the Well**_

_I hate fetching the water. Why can't my sister do it for once? After all, she has to contribute to our family as well._ Alice trudged unwillingly to the well in the village square, a very large bucket in hand. It was very heavy for someone her age, and was so large that she had to sling it over her back.

Wiping the sweat off her face, she held the rope, tied the handle tightly to the bucket, and heaved it over the wall of the well. She watched as it dropped.

_This is tiring work. Did my parents just _have_ to find the smallest, weakest and youngest of our family to do such a tiring job? _Seeing that the bucket was floating on the water, Alice picked up pebbles and dropped them into the bucket. _That actually sounds quite good! _She began dropping them in all different places, like the water, the wooden parts of the bucket and on top of other pebbles. The bucket dropped lower and lower, until the water finally filled it.

_Oh, oh, the cleverness of me!_ Alice smiled at her idea, and reached for the handle. However, due to her playfulness, she had put too many pebbles into the bucket, and was too heavy for her to wind up. So Alice did the only thing she could think of – going down the well herself.

Carefully, she lowered herself down the rope. It began swaying, and she desperately wanted to climb up again. _If my parents knew, though…I don't think I'll have dinner tonight_. So she continued. The coarse rope scratched her smooth hands, but she did not care. She did not want an empty stomach that night!

The well was a lot deeper than Alice expected it to be. It was dark, and she never liked that. _I wish dear Dinah was here, she would keep my company by purring._ It was also very damp and very cold. Her dress was completely soaked, and Alice began shivering all over.

_Just keep going, just keep going…I must have dinner tonight._ Alice cautiously slid her hands down the rope, until she heard a very faint meowing. _How great! The kittens are here! _She looked up, and saw three cats up there. It was dark compared to the brightness of the sun, but Alice could recognise her dear kittens, ivory white Dinah andSnowdrop,and ebony black Kitty. She stretched one hand out to touch them, but they would not come closer.

_Come on, kitty, keep your little mistress company._ Alice longed to climb up, but remembered about her dinner just in time. So she withdrew her hand, and continued downwards. Then she felt something against her legs. She had reached the water! Then she saw Dinah leap down with her.

_No! Dinah, no, I don't want to go any further down!_ That was what Alice wanted to say. However, her cat fell down amazingly quickly, and knocked her off the rope. She felt herself dropping down with her cat…


	2. Alice Back in Wonderland

Alice Down the Well

_**Chapter 2 – Alice Back in Wonderland**_

When Alice woke, she saw herself lying down on a field of green grass, with a narrow pavement which divided the plain. She stood up, shook herself, and found Dinah lying next to her.

"Dinah! Why are you here?" asked Alice. She picked up her kitten, and began stroking its sleek white fur. This was not the Dinah that she had mentioned to the Owl back in her first adventure in Wonderland – this was Dinah II, daughter of Dinah the first the cat, who was old and frail and maybe sitting on the rug in front of the fireplace, being lazy in general. Dinah rolled herself into a ball, and tucked its head into Alice's elbow.

"Dinah! I'm talking to you!" Alice expected it to purr, but it did not. Instead, it opened its mouth and spoke.

"Mistress, I'm here because you are. If you clung onto me and I did you, then wouldn't we be together?"

"Dinah! Since when could you talk?" Alice was amazed. Not that it was her first time, though. She was quite sure she was in Wonderland again, but changed her mind again a bit later, as she did so often.

"Even you know we're in Wonderland. You've been here before, so you should know the amazing effects it has on animals, particularly clever ones such as me. Therefore, I can talk. This will not happen in the world we live in, the one that I think you call Earth. Mother told me a lot about this place – she remembered everything you said in your dreams."

Not bothered to listen to her kitten's speech, she put a hand over its head, and walked along the pavement. _This can't be Wonderland – no beings, no building and nothing at all except grass, and a bit of stone!_

_Or maybe that this isn't the part of Wonderland that you know!_ Wait, that most certainly did not come from Alice. _It's called telepathy, and I'm your little kitten Dinah. We can read each other's minds, and also communicate likewise. Isn't that just great?_

_Well, now you mention it, not really,_ replied Alice sulkily. This really was foreign to her. The Wonderland she knew was a lot more exciting, not just acres and acres of grass. Her legs were sore, her kitten was annoying her, she was sweating, it was too hot, she wanted water…

_Stop it, little girl!_ Dinah yelled in her head. _Anyway, look up instead of on the ground!_

Alice looked up as her kitten told her to, and was shocked. There was a petite house with smoke puffing out from the chimney, and decorated entirely with flowers. Unless she had really been walking for longer than she thought…she had not seen the little house.

"Well spotted, Dinah," praised Alice, and stroked her kitten's gleaming white coat.

"No need for praises, my young mistress – just give me comfort for the rest of my life." She leapt from her arms, and landed lightly next to Alice's feet. She yawned, stretched, pranced around, and returned to her mistress's side, standing on two back limbs straight and tall. "Let's go pay a visit."

And the strange duo walked confidently up to the house, and knocked.


	3. The Flower Ladies

Alice Down the Well

**_Chapter 3 – The Flower Ladies_**

Inside the house, there was total chaos. The Flower Ladies rarely received any visitors, and so Lady Lavender, the manager of the house, told one of her servants, Rose, to open the door. Her younger sister, Lady Lily, was busy trying on her dresses (all, of course, made of various parts of the lily flower), and Lady Lavender herself was trying to squeeze a bunch of flowers into the side of her bonnet.

Ten minutes later, Lady Lavender and Lady Lily were sitting on lilies and lavenders inside their living room, a cup in hand with tea made from the flower corresponding to their names. Rose lead Alice and Dinah into the room, and scurried away quickly to inform Chef Marigold to make drinks and food for the visitors.

In the living room, Alice and Dinah chose a daffodil to sit on. Rose brought out the refreshments – sunflower tea and tulip cakes, which Alice and Dinah dived at like starving animals. Well, they were, anyway.

"You obviously enjoy Marigold's cooking," said Lady Lily happily, and wanted to say more, except her sister interrupted.

"I apologise greatly," began Lady Lavender formally, unlike her sister, "For the rudeness of us. I'm Lady Lavender, one of the two richest duchesses, and second in line to the throne of the Flower Kingdom." She looked at Lady Lily severely, and her sister timidly continued.

"I'm Lady Lily, the other one of the two richest duchesses, and the third in line to the throne of the Flower Kingdom."

Alice had never met nobles before, except for the pack of cards that she had to fight in her first visit to Wonderland, and the chess pieces she met when she went through the looking glass. And herself, who has quite a position in the world of the chess pieces.

"We are delighted to meet such important people," replied Alice, trying to sound confident, but failing miserably. _Useless thing_, teased Dinah.

_You try, silly kitten, _retorted Alice, and so Dinah cleaned herself, and stood up formally.

"I'm Dinah the second, eldest daughter of Dinah the first, and this is my mistress, Alice. We are delighted to meet you, Lady Lavender and Lady Lily." Dinah quite clearly did considerably better than Alice, because the two ladies looked very pleased. _Silly little show-off_, thought Alice enviously.

"For this exciting visit, we will give you each a bunch of flowers to commemorate this fun conversation, and we wish you the best of luck." Lady Lavender clapped twice, and two servants ran out at once each with a bunch of flowers. Lady Lavender and Lady Lily took them, slid off their flower chairs, walked over to the daffodil, and gave Alice and Dinah their flowers.

"Farewell, friends, and may we meet again!" Both Flower Ladies smiled happily, lifted Alice and Dinah, and dropped them outside the house.

_Very interesting visit that was, but at least we had food._ Alice picked up Dinah, and began walking along the stony path again.

_You know what? It seems that you're like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, and I'm her dog. Not that I like to, but still, it's quite similar, don't you think? What else do you think we're going to meet? Or who else? Might we even meet the Wizard himself? He'll take us home…_

This time there was no stopping of Dinah's endless chatter, so Alice tried her best to clear her mind, and concentrated on walking the path. Nevertheless, she could not fault her kitten yet.


	4. The School of Fish

Alice Down the Well

**_Chapter 4 – The School of Fish_**

_Oh where is the Wonderland I know?_ Alice proceeded to a jog, then a sprint along the stony pathway. _Nonetheless, this is a great story to tell. Wait until my friend Mabel hears about this. Who thought that my imagination could be so brilliant? _

Dinah raised her head, and sniffed. _I smell fish._

_No nonsense, Dinah, you just had tea._ Angrily, Alice kept walking. _Silly little kitten. Just refuses to stop eating. _Walking was too quiet for young Alice, though, and soon she began stomping.

The sound appealed to her, and Alice stamped harder and louder, until she felt the stone crack. _Oh, what am I to do? What am I to do?_

While she spent her time thinking, Dinah had leapt out of her arms, and stood on the edge of the crack, meowing loudly. _I don't like water, mistress, and I suggest you come out too – as if you haven't had enough of water in the well!_

_Too true_, thought Alice sulkily, and started the climb out, but more and more loose rocks fell down, and down went Alice with them. Sound travelled much better in water, and Alice could hear them screaming, "Save us! We're drowning!"

"I can't really help you, I'm drowning myself!" she replied irritably. _Oh no, if I had known this earlier, I wouldn't have had a second thought on dinner! Oh, oh, what in Wonderland will happen to me next?_

Alice could feel herself suffocating. She tried to cough, but could not. At last, she closed her eyes, hoping that this was just another nightmare she was having. _It had better be, but I wonder where my dream began? I must have been dreaming for hours and hours, but what time is it now, anyway?_

However, just before she thought about sleeping to see whether she was dreaming or not, someone, or maybe some_thing_, forced some foul-tasting liquid down her throat.

_No, no, that tasted horrible! I want to spit it out! Oh, no, no, it's down my stomach…wait, I can breathe!_

And so she could. She opened her eyes again, and saw many little fish around her, swimming gracefully. Laughing, she chased them, and freed them. _Dinah, come down! I'm having a delightful time down here!_

Up the top, Dinah was still trembling. _Mistress knows best for me, I think, _she thought, and bravely plunged head-first into the dark water. She fell, fell, and fell, as did Alice, and felt the same liquid run down her oesophagus, although to her, it tasted sweet – like fish.

"Dinah!" shouted Alice joyfully, and swam over to hug her kitten. It purred in pleasure, and tried catching the fish, which darted in every way.

"Welcome to the School of Fish!" Alice and Dinah turned their heads around in all different directions. The speaker was a young clownfish in the second row, third column. Fish were sitting in neat rows and columns of desks, and the teacher, the moray eel, used the rocks as blackboards. He rapped his tail against the rock sharply.

"New students are to be thirteen minutes, thirteen seconds and thirteen milliseconds early. You two, however, are late for that time by one millisecond, and therefore will be punished with lines this afternoon!"

"Excuse me, but we aren't new students. We don't know anything," said Alice timidly.

"If you are here, then you are a new student." He gestured to two empty seats which Alice and Dinah unhappily took.

"Now let's begin the lesson."


	5. Fishy Learning

Alice Down the Well

_**Chapter 5 – Fishy Learning**_

"First of all, I want to test our general knowledge," shouted the moray eel. He pointed at Alice, and roared, "Recite the Dog and the Bone poem!"

"Yes, sir!" screamed Alice back at him. "I think this is how it is, anyway." Alice desperately tried to think of something. After ten seconds of eerie silence, she spoke.

"_Over the bridge the dog was trotting_

_The wood was well and truly rotting._

_He trotted on, the silly animal, _

_He thought he was a clever mammal._

_Because he stole a wonderful thing,_

_A bone, maybe from a pig?_

_He stole it from the shop next door_

_To the boutique on the opposite shore._

_All he thought of was the bone_

_When he spotted his own clone._

'_It even held a bone, that foolish dog,_

_It doesn't deserve it; it's no smarter than a frog!'_

_Our dog, drooling greedily,_

_He was moving so speedily._

_He dived, and SPLASH! There was no bone_

_Nor the sign of his own clone._

'_How idiotic I have been!_

_I should've known that is was mean._

_It's only a bone I wanted, nothing much,_

_He's so selfish, he must be Dutch!'_

_When the wood cracked, he was still dreaming away,_

_Not noticing when the bridge gave way._

_It whacked him bull's-eye, and no doubt about that_

_For now he has to wear a hat._

_And now, my friends, you ask me 'Why?'_

_Certainly you know, you don't? Oh my!_

_To maintain his handsomeness of course,_

_He now has a swell, and the bridge is the cause!"_

The class clapped enthusiastically, and, not knowing what to do, Alice bowed. _That was a very lucky slip,_ she thought.

_Very fortunate to think of that poem so quickly, more like,_ Dinah's voice echoed in her head. _That little octopus told me that there was no poem for that story at all – the teacher is just plain mad._

"You!" the eel pointed his tail to Alice again, and this time she jumped from her seat. "What is the maximum grade you can receive if you want to stay as an outstanding student in this school?"

"'A' plus?" Alice doubted that, though. He did not say minimum, he said maximum. That surely did not mean the top grade, did it?

No, it did not. "No! That is the worst you can go as being a student in this school! It's 'C'! If you rise about 'sea' level, that means you're out of water! That is unhealthy and unnatural for fish! Of course, you can receive 'D' plus that would be the best. The brilliant students always stay in the 'deepest' levels. However, those who want to be really rich should receive 'G' minus, because 'gem miners' receive considerable pay."

"There are no such grades as 'D' plus and 'G' minus! And I know about 'A' plus because my sister has the best grades and they are always 'A' plus!"

"Young fish learn never to argue with their teachers!" The voice was thundering, and so Alice obliged and listened to the lessons, although nearly falling asleep.

The School of Fish was very simple, and very boring. Alice and Dinah decided to sneak away when the moray eel was not looking, and swam up the way they came down. At last they were out of the water, and the two shook themselves vigorously.

"This is Wonderland alright. The Cheshire Cat was right during my first visit – everyone's mad!"

* * *

A/N

_**NOTE: I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST DUTCH PEOPLE – IT WAS THE BEST WORD FOR THE RHYME. SO NO OFFENCE TO ANYONE!**_

This chapter has been edited after Mimia91's review.


	6. Old Friends

Alice Down the Well

_**Chapter 6 – Old Friends**_

"Did someone say my name?" Alice and Dinah looked up, and saw the Cheshire Cat's head in the air. Dinah whimpered, and Alice held her tightly. Cheshire Cat grinned broadly as it always did, and smiled even wider when it saw Dinah.

"Delightful thing. Why don't you come along with me and meet my mistress?" It materialised in front of them, and walked down the pathway proudly. Alice and Dinah had no choice, and so could only follow it.

"So this is Wonderland?" asked Alice cautiously.

"Oh, yes, and I'm glad to see you again. The 'fig'…"

"The baby turned into a pig."

"It did? Well, the 'pig' lives quite happily uprooting all the grass, which saves the mistress time because she doesn't have to turn the soil herself." The Cheshire Cat went into detailed explanations which Alice had no patience for, and instead counted the steps she took since the meeting with the Cheshire Cat. As Alice looked over the horizon, she saw a white rabbit taking a watch out of its pocket, muttering about how late it was. It was unusual, and she had only seen it once before in her life, but she did not bother with it until she remembered her first trip to Wonderland.

"Cheshire Cat, isn't that the White Rabbit?" asked Alice.

"Old friends never forget each other, do they?" Cheshire Cat chuckled, and followed the rabbit, with Alice and Dinah tagging along behind it. Alice agreed, only to stop it talking, for she was too exhausted even to think.

After a long time of running, Alice finally arrived at a part of Wonderland where she vaguely remembered – the path she followed which lead her to the Mad Hatter, the March Hare and the Dormouse's tea party. The duchess's home was in sight, and without knocking when she arrived, Alice opened the door and walked inside.

Just like last time, a baby was in her hands, and was crying loudly. The cook still had her habit of adding pepper endlessly to the food, and yet had time to throw a few things at the baby at intervals. When the duchess saw Alice, she smiled.

"Aren't you that little girl that I met many years ago? The one who played croquet with the queen?" she asked merrily.

"Yes, I think I am," replied Alice, although she did not consider herself 'little'. "I should be." Looking out the window, she saw the pig happily running around, making a mess of the lawn.

"Then the moral for that must be that old friends will find each other no matter what." Alice groaned inwardly – she had forgotten that the duchess was a woman of morals. Seeing Alice had turned her attention to the pig outside, the duchess added, "Don't mind him, I've this new baby to tend to!" cried the duchess, as she continually spanked him. He cried out loud to no end, and the noise was appalling. "On the topic of croquet, the queen has invited me to play with her this afternoon. I believe that you said you were good at it? Come and join us." Alice wanted to refuse, but that would not be polite. However, the last time they did, the situation did become a bit out of hand. Seeing she did not reply, the duchess happily said, "That's settled," and went on with spanking her baby.

_No one has changed so far, have they?_ Alice turned a pot around as a stool, and watched the commotion inside the duchess's little house.


	7. A Deck of Cards

Alice Down the Well

**_Chapter 7 – A Deck of Cards _**

The excessive amount of pepper inside the house wanted to make Alice cry, and so she quickly left the house. Dinah followed her, and the Cheshire Cat followed Dinah. She walked along a dirt road nearby, until she reached a tree with a door in it. Cautiously, she opened it, and found herself in a hall.

_This must be the hall with the rabbit holes, _thought Alice._ It must be. Now, let me take that key down from the table._ Alice took the gold key from the glass table, and drank the liquid in the bottle with the tag 'Drink me'. Then, when she was of a reasonable size to fit through the door, she picked up the key, and opened the door.

_And this must be the delightful garden!_ In a flowerbed opposite, Alice could see gardeners of the Hearts busily painting the red roses white. They were shaking so much that they were subconsciously pouring paint into the glittering river nearby, when knocking the cans over.

She walked over to them, and asked, "Why are you painting the roses white? They look very pretty with red. And the Queen likes them red, don't they?"

The gardeners exchanged glances. "You tell her, 2," said one sulkily.

"No way, 7, why don't you tell her, 5?"

The third gardener, 5, looked very unhappy. "That was the Queen of Diamonds. Our queen, the Queen of Hearts, hate red roses, and therefore we have to repaint them white."

Alice opened her mouth to ask another question, but from somewhere over the horizon someone shouted, "All hail the Kings and Queens of Diamonds, Clubs, Hearts and Spades!"

_Who said that? _That question was soon answered. A boat made of cardboard, coated with wax, was sailing down the river, the Jacks of all suits standing guard, and the Kings and Queens standing at the rails. The rest of the cards of the Hearts stood on the deck, busying themselves with all different jobs. _I've never seen a deck of cards like this before – all of them standing beautifully on a deck. A real deck of cards – who cares for collective nouns now?_ The Kings and their corresponding Queens walked elegantly off the ship, and immediately, the Queen of Hearts saw her gardeners painting the roses white. Unfortunately for them, they had only completed three quarters of the work. Angrily, she yelled, "Off with their heads!"

"What nonsense!" yelled Alice back, and flicked the four Jacks back to their groups, knocking the Kings off their feet. Then, she straightened herself, and tried to look more formal. Her kitten laughed out loud when she tripped over her own feet. "Your Majesty, today afternoon I will play croquet with you – the duchess invited me to."

"The duchess dares! Off with her head!" The Queens all turned purple. Sensing danger, the King of Hearts spoke up.

"I'm going to fly kites this afternoon," he said hastily. "Would you like to join me?"

"Yes, thank-you. I'm not going to put up with the nonsense with chopping people's heads off." Alice turned to the Queen of Hearts, who turned black.

"The nerve of you! Off with her head!" she screeched. Alice, unable to put up with her gobbledegook, picked her up and flung her into the water. Instantly all the Hearts ran to help and some jumped in themselves. _Silly, brainless cards._ _I have no idea how they could hold a court meeting the first time I visited Wonderland!_ _At least, though, this time I meet some sane people too, like the Flower Ladies, and some strange animals, like the School of Fish. Now I do wonder what kite flying this afternoon will be like._


	8. Up, Upp and Away! Then Back Down

Alice Down the Well

**_Chapter 8 – Up, Upp and Away! Then Back Down_**

Alice and Dinah watched as the Queens conducted the Croquet Competition, with all the players playing with flamingos and echidnas. _This place is utterly crazy,_ echoed Dinah's voice in Alice's head.

_Even the Cheshire Cat told me that – everyone in Wonderland is mad. I am, you are, he is, and basically everyone that we talk to and don't talk to in this land. _This was nothing new to Alice – she had only seen too many of these things happening.

An hour later, Alice was ready to fly with the King. She thought that this was going to be quite interesting and fun, and with speed like lightning put on all her safety gear, and squeezed a squirming Dinah into the gear for cats. _Why do we need the safety gear, though?_ Alice could not help pondering on that question. _What can possibly go wrong with flying kites?_

Patiently, Alice waited for the King, who returned two hours later with three people. _Maybe they will teach us how to fly kites, but I know how to. Even Mabel does, and I'm a lot better than Mabel. Am I? I should be. Let's see – I'll try geography. Italy is the capital of Rome, and France is the capital of Paris. The Arctic Ocean is the largest ocean, which lies west of Australia and east of China. Ecuador is geographically the coldest place on Earth, and Antarctica is the hottest. No, that can't be right – Oh, so aren't I better than Mabel?_ Alice began crying.

"Alice, let me introduce to you: Up, which is our safety instructor; Upp, which is our flying instructor; and Away, who is our landing instructor." The King pointed out each man as he said the name, and they bowed.

"First, you drink this delicious liquid," said Up, and held up three vials. Alice took one, Dinah took the second, the King took the last , and all drank to their heart's content.

Alice and Dinah daydreamed on as the instructors took turns to explain the rules of the game. Dinah thought Alice was listening, and so snoozed in her arms.

"And there are the kites!" they pointed upwards. Two gigantic birds swooped down, and grabbed Alice and the King, who hurriedly followed the safety instructions and put on all the gear. Alice, because she did not give full attention, put them all on the wrong way. The pain of the strings pulling on the bird sent in flying higher, and higher, until it was out of sight of everyone except Alice.

"Oh, amazing, Dinah, isn't it! Thanks Up, thanks Upp and thanks Away!" Alice tried to steer the bird, but could not because of her blurred vision. Steering her bird over a valley, she hit a mountain.

Clinging tightly onto Dinah in vain, Alice fell down…down…down…

BANG! Alice hit the ground hard, except she did not feel anything. _Is this even concrete?_

"Welcome, visitor!" boomed a voice.

"Visitor? To where?" asked Alice. "And why am I sitting on a flower? I'm not that small, am I?"

"The boldness of you! Bow down the King of the Flower Kingdom at once!"


	9. The Flower Kingdom

Alice Down the Well

_Chapter 9 – The Flower Kingdom_

Alice bowed, and Dinah followed suit. Then, she heard someone whisper, "It's the Queen of Flower Kingdom, Jester." And then there was an audible cry as the Jester was hit on the head.

"Sorry, your Majesty!" boomed the Jester. "ALL HAIL THE QUEEN OF FLOWER KINGDOM!"

_Queen? Didn't Lady Lavender mention something about a prince?_ Alice asked Dinah, who replied, _clean your ears, mistress. She said nothing of the sort._

"All rise," commanded the Queen of Flower Kingdom, and Alice and Dinah obeyed. They both stood up, and saw Lady Lavender sitting on the snapdragon. _She's only a duchess of the flowers, though, right? Then why would she sit on the throne of the Flower Kingdom? Wait, she's second in line…now I remember. I wonder how Lady Lily's feeling now. Even more power now, being second in line to the throne. However, if Lady Lavender was second in line, then where did the prince or the princess go? More like prince, seeing the Jester said so._

_More like that he's decided to tour Heaven_, echoed Dinah's voice inside Alice's head. _Of course, I'm not cursing his old Majesty. Just my brain's spinning a bit too quickly for my liking._

"Well, Alice, we meet again," said Queen Lavender, smiling. "The prince abdicated last week, and so I now am the ruler of the Flower Kingdom.

"Last week!" exclaimed Alice and Dinah together. "But we only met you earlier today!"

"Ah, no, dear child, I'm very sure it was last week!" and she lead them over to a rose. "Marigold will bring you some pansy cakes and hopefully some carnation tea." She clapped twice, and Marigold appeared out of thin air, holding two trays full of food and drink.

Lightly, she leapt from flower to flower until she reached Alice and Dinah, and laid down the two trays.

"Ah, children! You two are just as lively as you seemed a fortnight ago!" she exclaimed happily.

"But you met us earlier…I mean, a week ago," replied Dinah uncertainly. _Remember, they're all mad_, Alice reminded her.

"Oh, no, I'm certain it's a fortnight ago! I cooked the food – I remember, it's definitely a fortnight ago."

Alice slapped herself, but could not slap hard enough, so Dinah had to do it for her. Then, as they looked around and overheard conversations, none of the Flower People were sane. Nothing they said linked, there were too many arguments, no one agreed with each other, and generally the place was disastrous. Lady Lavender, or Queen Lavender, as she is now, was sitting on the snapdragon, knitting furiously.

_So, who exactly thought that such a beautiful place would be full of insane people! _Alice slipped off her rose, and caught Dinah as she jumped off after her young mistress. _So, now, where should we go?_

_Mistress, don't tell me you forgot that we're about the size of ants now, after drinking the liquid that Up, Upp and Away gave us._ Dinah's gloomy tone of voice repeated inside Alice's head.

* * *

A/N

Neko-ane, thanks for the really positive review, but surely there's something negative there?


	10. The Mad Hatter's Birthday Party

Alice Down the Well

_Chapter 10 – The Mad Hatter's Birthday Party_

Hugging Dinah as she walked through the jungle of gigantic flowers (or rather, just normal flowers. They didn't grow – she and Dinah shrank), Alice shivered. A light, thin, short-sleeved dress was only good for the hot summer day that Alice was sent to fetch water for, not 'bushwalking'. It was cold, and even ants were half their size.

As soon as they left the flowery jungle, Alice's legs gave way, and they both lied down to rest, but not for long, for they could hear an argument nearby. Quick as lightning, both jumped behind an old oak tree.

"Off me, Dinah!" screamed Alice as Dinah jumped onto her head and clung onto her hair when the kitten slipped, but she hushed her mistress. Three voices piped into the conversation.

"It's definitely May!" shouted the first.

"I say it's March!" yelled the second.

"I say it's bedtime…" mumbled the third, and Alice and Dinah could here the sound of a pot lid clicking back into place on its pot.

"Mistress, I think I know who they are," said Dinah to Alice.

"And I think I do too," replied she. Leading Dinah by the paw, they stepped around to the clearing on the other side of their hiding place. There, in the centre, was a large rectangular table set up with many dishes of delicious food, including trifles, cakes and ice-creams. The Mad Hatter, March Hare and the Dormouse were all crowded around the section with the bread, spreads and tea, and the Hatter was singing a song drunkenly.

"_Honour the one great me, _

_Who eats bread, spreads and tea!_

_Happy Birthday, you say to me,_

_Great Mad Hatter, that is me!"_

"I never knew it was his birthday," said Alice to Dinah. "He's gone crazier." They both chose the adjacent corner to sit down in, the corner where all the cupcakes, puddings, trifles and jellies were put. Without invitation, they both climbed up a leg of the table gobbled down the desserts hungrily, as if they had not eaten for days, when in fact they had already eaten. Soon, they returned to a normal size.

"Excess exposure to mercury and too much alcohol intake, I think," added Dinah as she crammed another cupcake into her stuffed mouth, and she and her mistress slid down from the table and stood in the corner, munching away. Instantly, the argument of the three stopped, the Dormouse was finally pushed head-first into the pot, and they turned to look at their new companions.

"No room, no room!" the Hatter and the Hare yelled in unison, and pushing the Dormouse's pot in front of them, they ran around the unoccupied corner full of rice and its other food productions. They charged forward and crashed head-first into Alice and Dinah, who flew in the air because of the impact and landed on some branches several feet away.

"What rubbish! There's plenty of room! For example, near the bread, and then near the desserts, then–"

"It's my birthday! And when I say there's no room, there's no room!" bellowed the Mad Hatter, and he and the March Hare pushed the Dormouse's pot back to the bread, spreads and tea corner, and satisfactorily gave themselves each a thick slice of bread generously coated with honey.

After an hour of being stuck on the tree (Alice feared she would fall down a break a bone, and so stayed up there), Alice asked, "Hatter, you've been eating for an hour non-stop."

"Have I?" he looked quizzically at his watch. "Oh, most certainly not. It's still 6 o'clock. I thought that I could blend a tea party with a birthday party – isn't that clever of me?"

Alice and Dinah groaned audibly – Alice had forgotten the Mad Hatter's watch was broken.

* * *

A/N

Tamiko of the Black Plastic Frames: Thanks, especially for the comment on my English.

Mitora Jesus-Freak: I appreciate the fact that someone thinks I'm funny.

Mousewolf: I don't understand the review, but thanks anyway.


	11. Part 2: Three Kittens and One Girl

Alice Down the Well – Part 2

**_Chapter 11 – Three Kittens and One Girl_**

Now, those who have read the first chapter of this story, they would know that Dinah the First had three kittens – two white and one black (**_note:_ **in Alice Through the Looking Glass, it's one white and one black, but I think I'll add Dinah II anyway. I'll stray from the storyline). One of the white ones would be, of course, Dinah II, the kitten accompanying Alice. However, they have forgotten the other white one, Snowdrop, and the black kitten, Kitty.

They peered down the well anxiously, but could see nothing. Worried, Kitty thought, _young mistress said that mother ought to have taught me better, so now should I jump or go back home? No, sister jumped, so I think I'll jump as well._ Breathing deeply, the eldest of the three kittens jumped after Dinah. Snowdrop did too, when she saw that both her sisters went down.

-

Back in Wonderland, Alice, with Dinah in her hands, was walking aimlessly. _Which way should I go?_ She looked and spun around in a circle indecisively, until Dinah jumped down and ran ahead. Not wanting to lose sight of her only companion, she followed.

_This is terrible,_ she thought dismally. _Although I am very sure that it has not been so long since I last ate, it feels like three years._

Just then, she was repeatedly hit on the head with two balls of fur, which, when she looked properly, were Kitty and Snowdrop. They purred in pleasure, and jumped on either side of Dinah to lick their little sister, who in returned meowed and licked them. Then, to show her concern during the period Dinah was down the well, Kitty cuffed Dinah on the ear.

_Dear oh dear,_ thought Alice unhappily. _Out of all things in this world, I receive two more loads of trouble…at least they can be companions…now, it would have been much better to miss dinner than be in this mess…_

_True, mistress,_ replied Dinah in a know-all voice. Screams of agreement from Kitty and Snowdrop echoed in Alice's brain.

_Now, now, young lady,_ Alice told herself (for those who have read Through the Looking Glass, they would know Alice's fondness of scolding herself), _it may have been clever of you to make music with pebbles and the bucket, but either way, it is not right for you to go down the well. Not only are you missing dinner, but a lot of fun! Remember, Mabel's birthday party is on tonight. Oh dear…poor Mabel…she will be expecting me! I'd better just be walking. Sooner or later I'll leave Wonderland._

So, obeying her mind, Alice kept walking until in front of her hopped the White Rabbit. This time, he changed his clothes to swimsuits, and he looked so chubby Alice could have sworn he could roll down a sloped surface with no trouble. However, all her humour was gone when the White Rabbit said coldly, "Don't even _think_ about my clothes. Now, where are your cards?"

"What cards, sir?" asked Alice and the three kittens in unison.

"Your cards for the race!" exclaimed the White Rabbit, and from inside his swimsuit he pulled out four cards. "Now, hurry on your way." And before they could say anything else, he bounded out of sight.

"Now, that is interesting," commented Kitty. Her two younger sisters agreed by nodding their head so violently that Alice feared they would fall off.

"Oh, come on! It's a race! Let's go!" urged Alice, who wanted to win everything, and they all changed their pace as their moved closer to the finish line. Not that they knew where it was.

* * *

A/N

mitora jesus-freak: Sorry if you love the Mad Hatter - I doubt he'll go on show again in this story. He just **_might_**, though.


	12. Just Don't Do Anything

Alice Down the Well

_**Chapter 12 – 'Just Don't Do Anything''**_

Alice and the three kittens soon tired out, and their pace slowed to a walk. However, as time passed, even walking became too tiring. With a thud, Alice sat down on the ground, looking at the horizon. Her kittens followed suit. There was nothing in sight, except for an endless field and this little stone path, and a few dots moving toward the sunset. _Those are probably the other contestants…I'll never win now…_

"I want mummy!" cried Snowdrop. "Mummy would carry me."

Upon hearing that, the other two began wailing as well.

"I wish I wasn't bored," said Alice sadly. "Now we're stuck."

"In the middle of nowhere," added Kitty. Snowdrop nodded, and resumed wailing.

"In the middle of nowhere _in Wonderland_," corrected Dinah.

"Okay, close enough. I wish we could get somewhere, though." Alice looked around. "And there isn't anything to eat, either."

Kitty, being very curious in nature, sniffed around for food. There may even be fish around, for all she knew. Wonderland seemed exactly like the place to have real fish out of water. Alice watched as the black kitten stop a few metres away, sniffing at a purple flower that she had never seen before.

"It smells very nice!"

Snowdrop and Dinah followed Kitty purrs to where she was, and a little while later, when they did not come back, Alice went as well. To her surprise, she found no cats even when the meowing was very loud.

_Down here!_

Obediently, Alice looked down, and found three miniature cats amongst all the grass and plants.

"What pretty statues!" commented Alice as she reached over to pick them up. To her surprise, they raised their paws, extended their claws and scratched her.

_No one calls us statues!_

"Oh." Alice sighed in disappointment. "Does that mean I have to carry you now, if we're to get anywhere?" Enthusiastically, the kittens nodded, and they climbed up from their mistress's hand to her shoulder. As Alice began walking again, the bouncy movement rocked them to sleep.

_How lazy!_ However, Alice knew that stopping would not be a good idea. If Wonderland by day was already so strange, she did not want to find out what things may be around after the sun had set. As the sky behind her turned a dark shade of blue, she increased her walking pace.

Eventually, the sun set, although the sky was still a brilliant shade of orange. Using that bit of dim light to light her way, Alice ran forward, hoping that she would reach some sort of civilisation in time.

Luckily for the four, a little hut of Alice's size appeared just in time as the last bit of light faded. Tired, Alice rang the doorbell and fell down in exhaustion. The kittens woke up, and leapt down to the ground. They tried to help the little girl up, but failed miserably.

To their dismay, no one opened the door, so when Alice finally regained some strength, she pushed the door open and went in.

The first parts they raided in the house were the kitchen and the pantry. After all, food was most likely to make them larger again. The kittens leapt onto the kitchen shelves and tried all different types of food. Alice, being as tired and hungry as she was, ignored her previous experiences and ate all the food the kittens laid out in front of her.

However, none of the above were smart ideas. While cautious Snowdrop managed to return to roughly her normal size, Kitty shrank to the size of a peanut. Dinah and Alice had even worse results – Alice ended up about twice Kitty's size, and Dinah could barely fit in the house.

_Oh no,_ thought Alice. _Well…I think we'll need to change our ways of living a little…_

Dinah nodded in agreement. _Exactly. What say we don't eat, don't drink, don't…_

Kitty and Snowdrop cut in. _Forget it. Just don't do anything._


End file.
